Fortunately it’s been quite a while since we’ve heard about a cat going missing. Unfortunately it looks like Ruby has gone missing. As you can see from the picture Ruby is both quite small and quite cute. A dangerous combination when you’re a cat out on your own. She lives right in the centre of Moseley, around the Farquar Road, Leighton Road and Tudor Road area. We know her well her enough to say hello to and she is a very nice cat. She’s been gone a few days so it’s likely she has gone to have a sleep in a shed or is trying to live in another house for a bit. So check your shed, and if you do happen to be living with a cat you don’t recognise then let us know and we will let her worried owner know. Contact us through the comments below of via email@example.com
There has been a typical media flurry about the good news that Beauty had been found, with everyone more than pleased with a happy ending that nobody expected. The Birmingham Post particularly added to the coverage with some excellent pictures of Beauty. For all of us that had been worried about her fate, over the last eleven months, it was great to see her and hear some of the details of what she had been up to, clearly blissfully unaware of her new national profile. Unfortunately the pictures also tell us something else. The new cat doesn’t really look like Beauty. She looks similar but has some quite different markings. We can’t find any scientific reason why she would have suddenly grown white feet. Cat experts (Google) seem to be of the opinion that cats don’t really change their markings dramatically. Although we happily run a web site devoted to cats we really don’t know the first thing about them. So, cat experts of the world, judge our Beauty Pageant. Tell us what you think. Though we are cynical about the provenance of this particular cat we are glad it has found a home. If people want to call it Beauty and give it a loving home then this can only be a good thing. We just hope it will pass the Twinkle test.
Surely we can’t be the only people who’d come to the conclusion that this wouldn’t end well. In fact for months we’d been telling anyone willing to listen that little Beauty had obviously been eaten by a fox. It seems that she is in fact alive and well and living in Sparkbrook (apparently it was Sparkhill, we thought they were the same place). She even has her own kittens. The quote from John Hemming, in relation to Beauty’s current living situation, appears to make little sense:- “I went to see the cat last night and indeed it was Beauty. We, however, think that she is feeding kittens at the moment so she has been returned to the lady who had kindly looked after her for a year so that we can try to track down the kittens.” And Mr Hemming added: “It seems that Beauty has been looked after by two households at the same time. I think one of those households also has her kittens (more likely than they are outside). “We need to track down the other household that is looking after Beauty. If they have her and a litter of kittens I would not be surprised if there was some form of arrangement we could come to. In any event I don’t want to take her away from her kittens. (If indeed there are kittens which I think there are).” But confusion seems to have been a fairly consistent part of this entirely sordid affair. Obviously some […]
Name: Arwen (Identity confirmed) You will probably remember that it took us over four months to review our last cat, Barry, well this one has taken even longer. Arwen was submitted in April of this year but we have delayed the review in order to avoid potential accusation of contempt of court due to Arwen’s ownership. As you can see we’ve mucked that up by actually doing the review at the single most inopportune time (press coverage reminded us it was still on the to do pile). So, help us navigate the choppy legal minefield of cat reviews. Agility – 2/10 We are familiar with embellishment but the claim that Arwen can leap to the top of a conservatory are beyond credulity. Obviously with the statutory limit of a lean-to conservatory being four meters you’re talking about a fairly tasty leap. We don’t believe Arwen can leap four meters. There is an equally outlandish claim that Arwen can sleep on a two inch wide fence. A two inch wide fence? What sort of building regulations are these people working to? Health & Vitality – 7/10 Arwen once had a litter of kittens, we like this. As far as we can remember this is the first time that we’ve ever reviewed a cat that has realised the full potential of motherhood. She had a litter at 6 months which is a little young (probably, we know very little about how cats work) but we make no judgements on this. She also […]
Unfortunately we need to let you know that Yoda has died. Yoda got a good score due her brother being kidnapped by an Eagle. We still shake our heads in wonder at this. It seems that Yoda was hit by a car and didn’t recover. We’d known, fleetingly, that she had gone missing unfortunately too late. We didn’t actually meet Yoda but she will be remembered as a one of our favourite cats.
Name: Barry (Identity confirmed) Barry was first brought to our attention in July of this year. That means it has taken over four months for us to review him. Now you might think it has taken so long because the review has been lovingly crafted out of gold. If you did think that you would be mostly wrong. We have just been very lazy. Agility – 4/10 We are getting increasingly worried about the amount of cats that aren’t allowed outside. It isn’t natural to keep a cat inside and it makes it very difficult to get a sense of what they can or can’t do. We do know that Barry can leap on top of the fridge in one jump. Not very impressive really. We have a feeling that at a push we could do that as well. Though obviously that would be frowned on in a human. Having said that letting your cat climb on your fridge does raise similar questions. Though it is Barry we are here to judge. Health & Vitality – 4/10 Although Barry should be rewarded for getting as far as ten and a half years old we feel we must deduct points for only having two teeth. This is rubbish. If only we had a section for pretending to be a vampire. Home invasion Pretending to be a vampire- 10/10 As Barry isn’t allowed out, ever, we’ve given him full marks for pretending to be a vampire. Meow – 8/10 Barry has a […]
We don’t get to say this very often but it looks like Rambo has come home. We’d like to say we had something to do with it. We didn’t. It’s great he’s home and now we just need to find out where he’s been and whether or not he really is Dave’s old cat.
It’s a shame we seem to spend more time reporting missing cats than reviewing them these days. That’s not a lack of cats, it’s laziness. Anyway this time Rambo has gone missing. He’s about 8 years old and has been missing for around 10 days. He usually lives in Stirchley, very near Bournville station. If you live near there please have a look about and let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org. We haven’t had a lot of luck at finding the missing recently. It’s getting a bit like Argentina round here. Help us reverse the trend.
Anyone who has paid attention The Birmingham Mail today will have heard about the plight of Beauty the kitten. Whilst we will admit a passing snigger at some of the frankly bizarre details we are concerned that Beauty still doesn’t seem to be at home where she belongs. We think this means that people of Moseley must do what they are best at…… finding a missing cat. You know what you need to do , check boxes, disused cars and fridges. Beauty must be found. If you find her then pass details on here. There’s a reward apparently.
Name: Spencer (Identity confirmed) Agility – 8/10 We think it is fair to say that there is both good agility and bad agility. On the one hand lurking on the top of a door to drop on a stranger, much like Cato, is good agility. Jumping from a second story window is bad agility. Potentially amusing, but all the same bad. We’re happy to award points but are concerned that this could just be seen as condoning actions that will end in tears. Health & Vitality – 2/10 Listing Spencer’s previous ailments is a bit like an episode of ER, early ER before all those new people came into it. Our favourite incident is when he was taken to the vet after developing “kitten asthma”. Now there isn’t anything funny about a kitten with asthma, but apparently it made him whistle, a bit like Roger Whittaker, but possibly smaller and cuter. Unfortunately as a result of this he has an inhaler and doesn’t have to play football. We’ve already mentioned that he jumps out of windows, you can imagine how that worked out (nor very well). He has an eating disorder and as a result has had to have a catheter. We imagine it was the bravest vet in the world that made that diagnosis. We have awarded a few points because he has his teeth surgically cleaned, though we’re not clear what that really means. It’s probably quite expensive. Home invasion – 4/10 It’s not fair on Spencer, but […]