MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Jun
6thNew Contender: Graham

Name: Graham (Identity confirmed) Agility – 5/10 Graham has a particular interest in chasing bits of paper. This isn’t tricky. Bits of paper don’t move under their own steam and are relatively easy to chase down. Health & Vitality – 7/10 Graham certainly looks very healthy. We have been told that she likes hiding in plastic bags which could be the result of a deathwish or some sort of saucy autoerotic asphyxiation. We’re not sure if going for the latter is giving her the benefit of the doubt or not. Home invasion – 10/10 Graham is the master of home invasion. She is known in Chantry Road for pissing on a Doctors cabbages. We assume this was probably a statement against the absurd class system that means some people have massive houses whilst others are condemned to live in…… er smaller houses. We’re sure that’s what she meant.  Meow – 3/10 We can’t ever remember her meowing. We could be wrong. Fighting Ability – 6/10 As Graham lives with Simon we think she probably isn’t very good at fighting other cats. Previously she has deposited a dead rat on her owners pillow and that gives her a better than middling score. Overall cuteness – 7/10 Graham is a very cute cat. Even if she is grey. Friendliness – 5/10 To be honest we’ve always found her a bit standoffish. We don’t know if she is dwarfed by Simon’s magnificence or just rude. Dignity – 4/10 Graham is a thirsty cat. She likes […]