MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

May
10thNew Contender: Jasper

Name: Jasper (Identity confirmed) Agility – 8/10 Jasper lives on a shed. Getting on top of a shed requires agility therefore Jasper is agile. It is a simple equation that is old as sheds (the word shed came into common parlance in 1481, Jasper is not that old). Health & Vitality – 7/10 Look at his fluffy coat, that’s surely a sign of health isn’t it? We’ve lost track of whether we like long haired cats or not. Apparently the vet thinks he is in excellent condition. Well the vet should know, having skills in cat physiology that we can only dream of. Home invasion – 0/10 Jasper’s “visiting” is frankly rubbish. We never see him out and about he seems to make no effort to get into other houses. Though does that mean he is so stealthy that we just haven’ t noticed him? No, he’s rubbish. Meow – 8/10 This is a rarity, Jasper bearly shuts up. We’ve heard him, sitting in the street banging on about God knows what. Based on these antics we’ve seriously considered re-evaluating the concept of this category and penalising the meow. On balance we decided that this would be rash. Fighting Ability – 5/10 Although Jasper bears the scars of battle we don’t think he’s very good at it.  Apparently he once fought Edward for dominance of the shed. Can you imagine that? What a battle, we think it must have been like Gladiators, not that recent rubbish from Sky but proper Gladiators when […]