MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

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  • Jan
    31st
    New Contender: William

    Name: William (Identity confirmed) Agility – 8/10 Now William isn’t the sort of cat you’re going to see navigating an upstairs window nor a large tree but he does have a unique agility. You see, he has a lovely trot. He scampers along like he is walking on rainbows. Health & Vitality – 5/10 We worry about William. He gives off the sort of air that he is too good for this life. We’re not implying he’s sick or anything, how we would we know? We know literally nothing about cat physiology. It’s more of a feeling possibly best summed up by the wise words of Art Garfunkel, “How can the light that burned so brightly Suddenly burn so pale?” Ok, he was singing about a large rabbit and has little relevance to what we’re talking about but it makes you think doesn’t it? Home invasion – 5/10 William has so much untapped potential but just isn’t willing to go that last yard. He’s not a cat that’s going to sneak in through the back door. No, he’s brazen enough to sit outside a strangers house and asks to be let in, unfortunately he is too wary to follow this through. This could be sign of a greater intelligence, although we’re happy to reward cats for paying a quick visit, it is quite the most ridiculous activity their species engages in. Meow – 6/10  William has a unique meow, it’s shrill but has a soft tone to it. He frequently uses […]

  • About

    Doesn’t it piss you off when you are sitting in a pub telling people about a cracking cat you met that there isn’t an objective standard to gauge how good it is against another cat? People can rate hurricanes but not cats. That’s ridiculous, I see loads more cats than hurricanes. I intend to redress this imbalance by making a universal standard of cats.

    Many people ask if this site is restricted to just cats from a particular post code. It isn’t, cats don’t respect post codes, they don’t send letters.

    Submit your cat to contender@meowseley.co.uk

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Good Old Fashioned Hand Written Code by Eric J. Schwarz