MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Jul
10thNew Contender: Spike

Name: Spike (Identity confirmed) Agility – 3/10 We just don’t know. No fascinating anecdotes or adventures mean that we have to be cautious. Health & Vitality – 5/10 Spike’s not much more than a kitten. They’re all healthy, except the sickly ones that pander to Darwin. Home invasion – 7/10 As Spike was discovered in a park (in Balsall Heath no less) he does have a hint of the vagrant about him. This is a good thing, it means he can take care of himself. Meow – 3/10 Again we don’t know. He doesn’t look like  a noisy one but it is so hard to judge these days. Fighting Ability – 8/10 Now we’re talking. Spike has tried to eat a child by starting with their hair. We weren’t there but we do have an image of Spike dangling with a mouthful of hair. Obviously Spike will learn, over time, if you want to eat a child then start with their feet so they can’t run away. Spike has also got into a fight with a dog and punched a man in the face. We do know that the dog in question is a bit dim but it is a natural predator so fair play. Overall cuteness – 4/10 Is that cute? We don’t think so. Yes, we can see Spike can do the comic position but a kitten needs to go that little bit further. Friendliness – 3/10 Punched a man in the face. THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF FRIENDLY. […]