MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Jul
18thNew Contender: Bollo

Name: Bollo (Identity confirmed) Agility -5/10 Apparently Bollo can fit through the smallest gap. We would hazard a guess that Bollo is not one of those microscopic cats made by the Japanese. In fact we’re not entirely sure the Japanese make microscopic cats, why would they? You’d lose them all the time, or tread on them which would be horrific. Like furry ants. Anyway, such claims are pure hyperbole. Health & Vitality – 4/10 Bollo likes to purge. She eats birds until they make her throw up. A more enlightened website would probably recognise this as a tricky psychological disorder that should be treated sensitively. We’re not that web site. Pull yourself together Bollo you’re no Princess Diana (though we do think your hair is lovely). Home invasion – 6/10 Bollo goes out and then Bollo comes home. Nobody knows where she’s been in between. We like to think she is leading a double life in somebody else’s house. It would be great if someone else submitted her as their own cat. We doubt that will happen. Meow – 7/10 If reports of her meow are true then there should be very few people in Birmingham that haven’t heard her. Even if such reports are exaggerated we’ll give her a decent score for being one of the few cats we’ve come across recently that makes the effort. Fighting Ability – 9/10 Whilst we recognise that she kills in order to maintain her perilous psychological condition, at the end of the […]