Name: Gerrard (Identity confirmed) We, of course, know Gerrard very well. We remember him running away. We remember him coming home again. We’re very pleased to have the opportunity to welcome Gerrard into the Meowseley family. Not that we’re related to cats. Nor are many of the cats related to each other. It’s a figurative family. Agility – 4/10 Gerrard, apparently suffers from vertigo. He gets the fear when he climbs on a table. He’s a cat. This is a very poor display indeed. On the other hand he can fight in the style of Dogtanian whilst balanced on a wall as thick as your hand. We don’t know what to believe. We love the idea of a cat pretending to be a cartoon dog in pre-revolutionary France. In fact we love the idea of cats standing on two legs and pretending to be people. Overall the vertigo story sounds entirely more credible so a paltry score is awarded. Health & Vitality – 3/10 We respect you too much to make any outlandish claims about Gerrard’s health and vitality. Look at him, he’s clearly been engaging with healthcare services. On the plus side we’re reassured that anything that is wrong with him is purely down to fighting. Over the years he’s had abscesses and a torn retina. We do agree that he seems to have a very shiny coat so we gave him a bit for that. Home invasion – 9/10 Gerrard’s previous home invasion antics have been plastered all over the […]
Good news. Gerrard has come home. Yay. It turns out he got stuck in a neighbours house. That’s proper cat burglary. He came home this afternoon and ate THREE pouches of cat food. Thanks to everyone that helped to spread the word on the Twitter. It’s nice to have a happy ending.
We don’t want to worry you but another cat has gone missing. Gerrard was last seen outside his house in Moseley Gate. He’s a small and tame black cat. It’s obviously very cold at the moment so it would be great to get him back home. If you live close by or even if you’re just passing, keep your eyes open. If you do see him then let us know by sending an email to email@example.com Alternatively leave a comment below. We’ll try and get a photo as soon as possible so you don’t confuse him with other entirely innocent cats.