MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Oct
16thNew Contender: Felix

Name: Felix (Identity confirmed) Agility -3/10 Bandy legs and a limp. Not exactly characteristics you’d expect in an agile cat. You wouldn’t be disappointed either as Felix isn’t very agile. Health & Vitality – 4/10 As stated previously he has a bit of a mobility problem but as he’s getting on a bit this is to be expected. As you can see from his picture he also seems to be slightly out of phase with our reality. This has clearly led to some blurring round his edges. On the other hand he is fat, in some cultures excess weight is seen as a sign of prosperity and vitality. This is not one of those cultures so he’s getting a nice round four points. Home invasion – 8/10 Felix is an old skool cat of the highest calibre. He enters where he’s not wanted; he eats your dinner and then pisses on your table. These young cats or “kittens” as they like to be known have been pampered with their sachets of cat food and reflective collars. In the old days if a cat wanted a tasty fish then the only way to get it was to steal it from a fishmonger. We’ve seen the cartoons. Meow – 6/10 It has been reported to us that Felix doesn’t meow but he does do a bit of caterwauling. As this is likely to be one of the only opportunities that we ever get to use that word in its correct context we’ve […]