MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Dec
21stNew Contender: Ollie

Name: Ollie (Identity confirmed) Agility – 8/10 Ok what have we got? Ollie can jump on to the top of a fridge freezer. According to Currys that seems to be a height of around 1.7 meters. That’s a good height, taller than a man but smaller than a house (for those of you that need a bit of clarity on what a fridge looks like). Interestingly Ollie was once rehoused after climbing up the chimney. He clearly sees himself as some sort of cockney street urchin. Health & Vitality – 3/10 Unfortunately Ollie doesn’t have a tail. This is a bit odd in a cat. Unless you’re one of those freaky manx cats. We don’t think Ollie is a manx cat. Anyway we have been reliably told that manx cats are forbidden from crossing into this country because of the way they unsettle children. We are not completely sure why Ollie doesn’t have a tail but we’re going to penalise him for it. Home invasion – 4/10 From what we can gather, most of Ollie’s invasions seem to result from him moving in with new owners and then getting thrown out because he doesn’t like children or other cats. We can understand where he’s coming from but it isn’t a good example of breaking and entering. Meow – 7/10 We’ve noticed that talking cats are on the up these days. Ollie has developed an ability to talk after having a tooth extracted. We assume that the tooth was in some way […]