-
New Contender: Yoda
Name: Yoda (Identity confirmed) Before we get started it might be useful to address some of the issues that have been raised about cat names. Some people have commented on the growing trend to give cats person names rather than what could be considered a conventional feline labelling. We would like to make it clear that although we think of cats as tiny furry people we do not penalise a contender for having a silly name. We recognise that the name a cat is saddled with is the responsibility of the owner and should not reflect badly on the unfortunate creature that ends up named after a cartoon or a cloud. Though we can’t think of any examples of where this has happened. This statement of policy should not be seen as any sort of criticism of Yoda’s name. We do think it’s a bit of silly name, especially as she is a girl (cat). Agility – 7/10 Yoda can climb through windows. This is basic cat behaviour and isn’t really going to get her a large score. But hang on a minute these windows she can climb through are bedroom windows. Isn’t it conventional to have your bedroom upstairs? That means she must be doing something fairly agile to make her window climbing decision useful. This score stands whilst further investigations take place as to where exactly this “bedroom” is. Health & Vitality – 6/10 She looks healthy. She certainly doesn’t look like she’s 7 years old so she must […]
-
New Contender: Stuart
Name: Stuart (Identity confirmed) Agility – 9/10 We’re not going to insult your inteligence here. Stuart is clearly agile. He’s on a bloody SHED. How did he get up there? We don’t know but we’re willing to bet cold hard cash he didn’t use a ladder. Health & Vitality – 5/10 This doesn’t look like a good score and we’re certainly not trying to imply that Stuart is in any way manky. We understand that Stuart has got himself into a number of scrapes over the years including getting trapped in a….. trap and getting chased by a Big Dog. On the other hand he looks a lot younger than his quite respectable seven years. Home invasion – 7/10 Stuart was once found innocently sitting in the window of someone else’s house. He hadn’t been stolen, oh no. He’d just gone round to have a bit of sit and a look about. A truly bold cat. Meow – 5/10 We only have basic intelligence with which to assess Stuart’s meow. We don’t feel that a friendly trilling sound really demonstrates much in the way of quality. We do acknowledge that a cat snoring is very cute but not entirely appropriate for this section. It is the meow section and not the “noises that cats make section”. Fighting Ability – 6/10 Clearly Stuart didn’t do very well against the Big Dog but as they are the cats natural predators that is only to be expected. We have seen photographic evidence that Stuart is […]
-
Emergency: (Name not known)
There’s another one gone. Unfortunately we don’t know much about this one. We don’t know its name and we can’t narrow down its last known location, beyond B13. It looks like quite a nice cat but seems to have been missing since the 29th August. I think we can all agree that is a very long time. This seems to be a bit of a trend at the moment, the missing cat thing rather than us not knowing cats’ names. It is important to follow these trends in case there is some sort of cat thief about. It wouldn’t do if someone was putting them into servitude. Probably a pretty unproductive servitude but one that should be stamped on none the less. As per normal if you see her or even hear a rumour email us at the usual address (emergency@meowseley.co.uk) Thanks to @bounder for alerting to us to this most perilous of situations.
-
Emergency Request: Toffee
It seems that Toffee has gone missing from her house in Melton Road, Kings Heath. She was last seen on the 20th August, which is quite a long time for a tiny cat to go missing. We understand that she does like to get about but that really isn’t a good enough excuse to not come home. The bottom half of her ID barrel was found in her garden so she is unlikely to have any sort of identification on her. So, check your sheds and question your neighbours. If you see her or even hear a rumour email us at the usual address (emergency@meowseley.co.uk)
-
New Contender(s): Frankie & Scotty
Name(s): Frankie & Scottty (Identity confirmed) Both Frankie and Scotty were submitted as a pair. This has caused us some problems, mainly becuase we’re not sure our scoring system can cope with it. We had a discussion with some of the worlds greatest cat experts and decided that if it’s good enough for wrestling then it’s good enough for us. So, may we present Frankie and Scotty? Agility – 7/10 Both cats can easily jump over 6 feet. A few months ago we would have been impressed by this but it is quickly becoming apparent that if you’re a cat and you can’t jump over 6 feet then there is something wrong with you. What they can do is leap over plants like tiny show jumpers. This is a fantastic image and we can only assume that their owner straps Action Men to their backs as a matter of course. Health & Vitality – 8/10 These cats live on a diet of fresh fish and chicken. Even we don’t live on a diet of fresh fish and chicken. Though we also don’t have a head shaped like a protractor,but it isn’t a competition (it is really). A good diet means a shiny coat and at the very least the appearance of health and vitality. Home invasion – 6/10 Frankie and Scotty are known to visit their neighbour upstairs and they do jump over fences. Not the most thrilling story of adventure but solid evidence. Meow – 10/10 They scream like banshees. […]
-
Emergency Request : Didier
Excellent news. Didier has been found and he is fine and well. Apparently he was hiding in a shed. Who’d have thought? Anyway that goes to show all of you that told us he was dead.
-
Intelligence Update: Frank
It came as a shock to all of us but Errol isn’t quite who he has been pretending to be. It has been brought to our attention that Errol is actually called Frank. We don’t think this will really affect his score very much as Frank is a good solid name. We do think Frank’s owners might want to reconsider his name. Errol seems to reflect his personality somewhat better. Obviously that is their call.
-
Emergency Request : Didier
Ok, we have another job for you (not that you did very well on the last one). It seems that Didier has gone missing. We don’t know a lot about Didier but we think you should start looking in the Chesterton Road area. It’s a dangerous area so finding him is quite urgent. He’s not got much of a Meow so you’re going to have to do some proper looking. Apparently he responds to boxes of cat treats so if you’ve got one take it with you when you start searching. If you find him then let us know at the usual address (emergency@meowseley.co.uk) or leave a comment below. We will pass your details on to Didier’s worried owners. Good luck.
-
New Contender: Jeff
Name: Name: Jeff (Identity confirmed) Agility – 8/10 Jeff is a bit of a feisty lady. We know what you’re thinking, lady? Yes, apparently she is named after Jeff Bridges, we cannot conceive of any reason why you would want to name a cat after Jeff Bridges. But we digress, apparently if locked up Jeff likes to leg it up the curtains and generally trash the place. You’d need a fair bit of a agility to climb up curtains. Health & Vitality – 7/10 She looks fairly healthy. She’s got a shiny coat and nice eyes. The main thing that stands out is her absolutely massive head. If they made hats for cats then you wouldn’t be able to get one for Jeff because her head is too large. We think a big head is a sign of being healthy. Though we’re not sure why. Home invasion – 5/10 Jeff likes to get out and about and has been described as “a bit feral”. We know she doesn’t like being kept in her own house but does that mean she goes to see other people? Based on little or no information we think she doesn’t. We think she spends most of her time outside sitting under a bush eating grass. Meow – 3/10 There is an element of guessing in this score but we don’t think Jeff has a very good meow. We’re willing to be corrected on this. Fighting Ability – 7/10 Jeff is like an untamed beast that […]
-
Help us
Come on where have all the cats gone? We’ve reviewed pretty well every cat we’ve come across but it isn’t enough. We are desperate for more cats. So send us a picture and a little outline of what they get up to and we will do our best to get a review sorted as soon as possible. We’re not even that fussy where they live anymore. The things we need to know are:- Agility Health and vitality Home invasion Meow Fighting ability Overall cuteness Friendliness Dignity Intelligence Remaining lives Just send anything you have to contender@meowseley.co.uk and our dedicated team of cat experts will get the assessment process going.
- ‹ Older PostsNewer Search Results ›