MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Oct
13thNew Contender: Stuart

Name: Stuart (Identity confirmed) Agility – 9/10 We’re not going to insult your inteligence here. Stuart is clearly agile. He’s on a bloody SHED.  How did he get up there? We don’t know but we’re willing to bet cold hard cash he didn’t use a ladder. Health & Vitality – 5/10 This doesn’t look like a good score and we’re certainly not trying to imply that Stuart is in any way manky. We understand that Stuart has got himself into a number of scrapes over the years including getting trapped in a….. trap and getting chased by a Big Dog. On the other hand he looks a lot younger than his quite respectable seven years. Home invasion – 7/10 Stuart was once found innocently sitting in the window of someone else’s house. He hadn’t been stolen, oh no. He’d just gone round to have a bit of sit and a look about. A truly bold cat. Meow – 5/10 We only have basic intelligence with which to assess Stuart’s meow. We don’t feel that a friendly trilling sound really demonstrates much in the way of quality. We do acknowledge that a cat snoring is very cute but not entirely appropriate for this section. It is the meow section and not the “noises that cats make section”. Fighting Ability – 6/10 Clearly Stuart didn’t do very well against the Big Dog but as they are the cats natural predators that is only to be expected. We have seen photographic evidence that Stuart is […]