You’ve got to watch Errol Frank, he has a bit of a habit of sneaking up on you from the most unexpected angles. Quite often you can be happily wandering along, you hear a bit of meow, and there he is, lingering on a fence. He’s also very very fast.
Health & Vitality – 6/10
He’s certainly a big fellah. Probably about the size of one and a half normal cats. His coat seems quite shiny so there’s no reason to assume he is anything other than healthy.
Home invasion – 10/10
Errol is about as good as it gets when it comes to getting into other people’s houses. We’ve caught him trying to get through the cat flap and when that didn’t work he just knocked on the door. How can you refuse a cat that knocks on the door? He has been brought up very well.
Meow – 5/10
Being the strong silent type means that Errol Frank doesn’t need to make a fuss to get noticed. When he needs to let people know he’s sitting on a fence then he does but he isn’t exactly chatty.
Fighting Ability – 9/10
Errol Frank is about the hardest cat we’ve come across so far. He can batter any other cat in his road and totures small animals. He was observed once taking a rat for a walk. Racing it up and down the road until he was bored. It is dubious whether we should reward what is bsically psychotic behaviour but it was very funny.
Overall cuteness – 6/10
Considering Errol Frank is bit of large lumbering thing of a cat we think he’s quite cute. Not kitteny type of cute but a distinguished type of cute.
Friendliness – 4/10
We don’t think Errol is that friendly really. Alright he does greet you in passing but generally we think he does this in a “I could have killed you then” sort of way. Not much of one for tickling, probably. Well we’re not going to try until we get some decent gloves.
Dignity – 7/10
Errol Frank is diginity personified. He’s polite, he’s clean and he’s very well turned out. Even when he breaks into to steal another cat’s food he does it with an air of righteousness.
Intelligence – 6/10
If a cat knows how to knock on your door then he clearly isn’t as dim as brick. We know little else about Errol but 6 isn’t a bad score considering some of the idiot cats we’ve reviewed so far.
Remaining lives – 7/10
We imagine Errol Frank has lost a few lives but equally has probably taken a few as well.
Errol Frank is one of our favourite cats because he’s just proper. He’s not a kitten and could probably beat us all in a fight.
Doesn’t it piss you off when you are sitting in a pub telling people about a cracking cat you met that there isn’t an objective standard to gauge how good it is against another cat? People can rate hurricanes but not cats. That’s ridiculous, I see loads more cats than hurricanes. I intend to redress this imbalance by making a universal standard of cats.
Many people ask if this site is restricted to just cats from a particular post code. It isn’t, cats don’t respect post codes, they don’t send letters.