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Emergency Request : Didier
Ok, we have another job for you (not that you did very well on the last one). It seems that Didier has gone missing. We don’t know a lot about Didier but we think you should start looking in the Chesterton Road area. It’s a dangerous area so finding him is quite urgent. He’s not got much of a Meow so you’re going to have to do some proper looking. Apparently he responds to boxes of cat treats so if you’ve got one take it with you when you start searching. If you find him then let us know at the usual address (emergency@meowseley.co.uk) or leave a comment below. We will pass your details on to Didier’s worried owners. Good luck.
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New Contender: Jeff
Name: Name: Jeff (Identity confirmed) Agility – 8/10 Jeff is a bit of a feisty lady. We know what you’re thinking, lady? Yes, apparently she is named after Jeff Bridges, we cannot conceive of any reason why you would want to name a cat after Jeff Bridges. But we digress, apparently if locked up Jeff likes to leg it up the curtains and generally trash the place. You’d need a fair bit of a agility to climb up curtains. Health & Vitality – 7/10 She looks fairly healthy. She’s got a shiny coat and nice eyes. The main thing that stands out is her absolutely massive head. If they made hats for cats then you wouldn’t be able to get one for Jeff because her head is too large. We think a big head is a sign of being healthy. Though we’re not sure why. Home invasion – 5/10 Jeff likes to get out and about and has been described as “a bit feral”. We know she doesn’t like being kept in her own house but does that mean she goes to see other people? Based on little or no information we think she doesn’t. We think she spends most of her time outside sitting under a bush eating grass. Meow – 3/10 There is an element of guessing in this score but we don’t think Jeff has a very good meow. We’re willing to be corrected on this. Fighting Ability – 7/10 Jeff is like an untamed beast that […]
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Help us
Come on where have all the cats gone? We’ve reviewed pretty well every cat we’ve come across but it isn’t enough. We are desperate for more cats. So send us a picture and a little outline of what they get up to and we will do our best to get a review sorted as soon as possible. We’re not even that fussy where they live anymore. The things we need to know are:- Agility Health and vitality Home invasion Meow Fighting ability Overall cuteness Friendliness Dignity Intelligence Remaining lives Just send anything you have to contender@meowseley.co.uk and our dedicated team of cat experts will get the assessment process going.
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New Contender: Brown
Name: Name: Brown (Identity confirmed) Agility – 7/10 Brown can climb on top of clothes horse. This is good, both agile and a little bit cheeky. We can imagine a cute picture of Brown on top of some washing looking quite cute, maybe with a poorly spelled caption highlighting the incongruous nature of a cat on a clotheshorse. It could work, maybe like a meme or something. Health & Vitality – 8/10 We have to admit that our intelligence is horrifically out of date. We had been led to believe that Brown had only ever thrown up once, ever. If Edward’s throwing up tendency is any barometer of cat health then we think Brown must be some sort of super cat with a constitution made of steel. Home invasion – -/10 We just don’t feel able to score this one. Brown may have never been involved in breaking and entering back in October when we supposed to have written this but surely that has all been sorted out now, hasn’t it? Meow – 6/10 Brown has a meow and uses it to good effect. Somewhat sparingly but you can have too much of good thing. Fighting Ability – 5/10 When it comes to fighting Brown tends to keep it in the family. She fights with her uncle, Grey (there is a convoluted family tree here that we have to admit we don’t really understand). Grey is also a kitten so there is an inevitable points reduction. We’re sorry but there […]