We’re very sorry to have to tell everyone but it seems that Socks has died. Socks’ owner has got in touch to say that she was found by somebody walking a dog. We don’t know how this happened. We are all very sorry to hear this as we really liked Socks.
Name: Name: Grey (Identity confirmed) Agility – 4/10 Grey’s athletic endeavours appear to extend to “a little light climbing” but only before lunch. This is not satisfactory. Kittens should have boundless energy and should spend their days getting into all manner of scrapes. Kitten scrapes should always include, though not exclusively, an element of climbing. Health & Vitality – 7/10 Grey is only young but so far hasn’t demonstrated any adverse reactions to being alive. A healthy little cat gets a healthy little score. Home invasion – 1/10 Grey has never left the house yet. Pathetic. You can’t invade somebody elses house if you can’t even get out of your own. We’re seriously thinking of taking this point back as it really isn’t good enough. Meow – 7/10 Grey’s meow has been described as a “poor squeaky kitten meow”. We think this is unfair. It takes a bit of time for a cat to find it’s voice and making such an effort at a young age certainly bodes well for the future. He clearly has something to say and we want to hear it. Fighting Ability – 2/10 Kittens are shit at fighting. What may appear to us as playful rolling around is in fact just playful rolling around. Grey is never going to have the respect of his peers (or us) until he’s killed something. Or at the very least maimed it. Harsh but fair. Overall cuteness – 8/10 Grey is undeniably cute. We’d go as far as to […]
Name: Name: Charlie (Identity confirmed) Agility -9/10 Charlie isn’t just agile he’s a veritable catrobat. We honestly don’t understand the convoluted passage of staircases, flat roofs and very high walls that he navigates on a daily basis to get home. Suffice to say we’re impressed with his commitment and think he’s set a very high standard for other cats to live up to. Actually he has not only set a very high standard but he’s probably jumped over it. Health & Vitality – 3/10 As far as health and vitality goes Charlie is big old lump of contradictions. In a way he should be rewarded for simply being alive. Reading his battle for life is a bit like an episode of ER. Admittedly an episode of ER with more of a cat focus than normal. In summary he’s got a dodgy eye from some sort of infection, his kidneys don’t work very well which means he once needed a catheter (obvious pun ignored) and he was once shot. Think about that last one for a bit. He was actually proper shot and is still alive. We’re intrigued to know how you get a catheter into a cat though we probably wouldn’t want to watch it happen. Home invasion – 2/10 Charlie doesn’t invade homes. We’ve heard that he got locked in a shed once but that really isn’t the same. Meow – 4/10 On the one hand Charlie does meow. On the other hand it’s a bit of a rubbish […]