{"id":446,"date":"2012-09-20T14:18:29","date_gmt":"2012-09-20T13:18:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=446"},"modified":"2016-08-25T17:17:47","modified_gmt":"2016-08-25T16:17:47","slug":"new-contender-mr-p","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=446","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Mr P"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/Mr_P_s.jpg\" alt=\"Mr P\" \/>Name: Mr P (Identity confirmed)<\/p>\n<p>CAVEAT &#8211; We have nowhere enough information to carry out this assessment. We have no facts.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility &#8211; 2\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We think his on-going battle with weight issues are going to impact on his ability to get about. We don&#8217;t know this for a fact but we&#8217;ve been in cat assessment business for quite a while now. We understand that he is capable of getting over the &#8220;back wall&#8221; but this is more than likely driven by the whiff of a spare dinner.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 1\/10\n<ul>\n<li>This is one of the lowest scores we&#8217;ve given a contender. Mr P was once featured on the <a href=\"http:\/\/news.bbc.co.uk\/1\/hi\/in_pictures\/6936957.stm\">BBC website as some sort of &#8220;fat cat&#8221; (picture number 5)<\/a>, this doesn&#8217;t mean that his excessive bonus and tax avoidance has led to the financial apocalypse. No, it means he is quite literally a cat that is fat. He spent some time visiting the obesity club run by the vet, we&#8217;re not ones to criticise vets but running clubs for cats is a stupid idea. They&#8217;re not very good at joining in. If there was such a thing as cat diabetes then he is surely a candidate.Well what do you know? Apparently there is such a thing as <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Diabetes_in_cats\">cat diabetes<\/a>\u00a0but one of the symptoms is weight loss. I think we&#8217;ve all learnt something here.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We know Mr P visits a neighbour and once lost his collar down the road. Sorry they&#8217;re not the most gripping stories.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Every morning Mr P wakes his owners up with a meow. We love this, not only is he vocalising but he&#8217;s providing a proper public service. Like a furry\u00a0cockerel.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Not much to report. He is covered with scratches which would indicate that he&#8217;s not that good at fighting. We would hazard a guess that other cats haven&#8217;t been overly\u00a0successful\u00a0at getting his lunch money off him. He is also known to bring twigs home. Twigs don&#8217;t really fight back, much.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Fair enough, he&#8217;s a big un, but we like him. He&#8217;s got a nice face.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Every day he won&#8217;t let his owners go to bed until he&#8217;s had a hug. How\u00a0unbelievably great is that? Doesn&#8217;t that just make you think that everything is alright with the world?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Hmmm, sleeps in the mud. We don&#8217;t like this. That sort of behaviour is fine for a hippo who gets a practical benefit from sleeping in mud, but it isn&#8217;t suitable for cats.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Not a \u00a0great deal to go on here. Catching twigs isn&#8217;t a great sign of intelligence.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We&#8217;re a little surprised that Mr P is still alive. The picture on the BBC site was taken FIVE years ago. Looking at him then you wouldn&#8217;t have put money on him having half a decade left in him. But he&#8217;s made it and this is something we should all give thanks for.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 49%<\/p>\n<p>We know we haven&#8217;t done Mr P justice. We don&#8217;t know what we don&#8217;t know, but we do know that there a great deal more things to know, about Mr P.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Mr P (Identity confirmed) CAVEAT &#8211; We have nowhere enough information to carry out this assessment. We have no facts. Agility &#8211; 2\/10 We think his on-going battle with weight issues are going to impact on his ability to get about. We don&#8217;t know this for a fact but we&#8217;ve been in cat assessment business for quite a while now. We understand that he is capable of getting over the &#8220;back wall&#8221; but this is more than likely driven by the whiff of a spare dinner. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 1\/10 This is one of the lowest scores we&#8217;ve given a contender. Mr P was once featured on the BBC website as some sort of &#8220;fat cat&#8221; (picture number 5), this doesn&#8217;t mean that his excessive bonus and tax avoidance has led to the financial apocalypse. No, it means he is quite literally a cat that is fat. He spent some time visiting the obesity club run by the vet, we&#8217;re not ones to criticise vets but running clubs for cats is a stupid idea. They&#8217;re not very good at joining in. If there was such a thing as cat diabetes then he is surely a candidate.Well what do you know? Apparently there is such a thing as cat diabetes\u00a0but one of the symptoms is weight loss. I think we&#8217;ve all learnt something here. Home invasion &#8211; 5\/10 We know Mr P visits a neighbour and once lost his collar down the road. Sorry they&#8217;re not the most gripping [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":445,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[62],"class_list":["post-446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contenders","tag-mr-p"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/Mr_P_s.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-7c","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=446"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1080,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions\/1080"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}