{"id":441,"date":"2012-08-20T15:14:12","date_gmt":"2012-08-20T14:14:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=441"},"modified":"2013-12-01T10:50:32","modified_gmt":"2013-12-01T09:50:32","slug":"new-contender-stevie-kitsen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=441","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Stevie Kitsen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" alt=\"Stevie Kitsen\" src=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Stevie_K.jpg\" \/>Name: Stevie Kitsen (Identity confirmed)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility &#8211; 2\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We know little about Stevie&#8217;s agility. We know she (yes, she, more on that later), we know she favours a window when coming in and out of the house. This isn&#8217;t really that incredible, many cats prefer the informal mode of ingress and egress. Her owner once experimented with one of those new fangled cat cameras; apparently she looked out of the window all day. Ahhh, but did she? Or did she take a picture of the outside and place a still of it in front of the camera whilst carrying out any number of capers? We&#8217;ve seen it done before, though admittedly it wasn&#8217;t done by a cat and it was in a film.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Little Stevie Kitsen has suffered the ignominy of having being labelled a male cat whilst all the while bring a female. Apparently this is because her gender was determined by the landlord of the local pub. This goes a long way to reaffirming the need for professionalism in the veterinary trade; we can&#8217;t just let charlatans carry out detailed examinations of cats. Besides this unfortunate start Stevie is a healthy and sprightly individual whose character oozes out of her. Not oozing like liquid, that would be a sign of an unhealthy cat.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 9\/10\n<ul>\n<li>When Stevie\u2019s owner got a dog Stevie went to live in the pub. This is where she found her current owner; this level of self sufficiency is a thing of wonder. Sometimes if Stevie gets bored she goes to live in the old people&#8217;s home down the road. The old people apparently don&#8217;t like this, we can understand this as in many cases cats can be the harbinger of death for older people. You just don&#8217;t know whether a cat&#8217;s trying to have quick nap or has detected the first whiff of death. She also once ran away to live with a house full of Spanish students, it didn&#8217;t work out.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 2\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Pretty well nothing but a paltry squeak. You can try and pass this off as subtle but s.u.b.t.l.e is just another way of spelling lazy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Although Stevie is recognised as being the first one to leg it if it&#8217;s all getting a bit physical she once tried to fight a tortoise. There is little a cat can do against the single most armoured creature that evolution has thrown up. Stevie found this out by getting her claw stuck in him (or her, we don&#8217;t know the gender of the tortoise, it&#8217;s a shame we&#8217;re not in the pub where we might have easily been able to find this out). Stevie also killed two mice in one night; these are the only recorded kills we have for her. We think they might have looked at her a bit funny.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We think she&#8217;s quite cute. A searching look and tasteful colouring, without being ostentatious.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Her propensity for running away either tells us that she isn&#8217;t that friendly or that she is really friendly. Who knows? She doesn&#8217;t like being picked up but neither do we so it would seem harsh to hold it against her.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>The indignity of getting stuck to a tortoise aside, we can&#8217;t see anything to indicate she is anything more than middle of the road here.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Stevie&#8217;s favourite foods are Whiskers (yep, cat food), pork scratchings (ok, unconventional but we&#8217;ll let it go) and Cheesy Quavers (NO, NO, NO, NO, that&#8217;s all wrong). Cats do not eat crisps, or things that are a bit like crisps (we&#8217;re not completely sure what Cheesy Quavers are). Stevie you&#8217;re an idiot.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Stevie&#8217;s lived a little bit of everywhere and we like that. She always finds her way home or just finds a new home. This is the very spirit of the modern cat.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 53%<\/p>\n<p>There are some mediocre areas there that have really dragged Stevie down. We can see how she can improve, mainly by running about more and making a noise about it. Having said that we like her, she&#8217;s got spunk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Stevie Kitsen (Identity confirmed) Agility &#8211; 2\/10 We know little about Stevie&#8217;s agility. We know she (yes, she, more on that later), we know she favours a window when coming in and out of the house. This isn&#8217;t really that incredible, many cats prefer the informal mode of ingress and egress. Her owner once experimented with one of those new fangled cat cameras; apparently she looked out of the window all day. Ahhh, but did she? Or did she take a picture of the outside and place a still of it in front of the camera whilst carrying out any number of capers? We&#8217;ve seen it done before, though admittedly it wasn&#8217;t done by a cat and it was in a film. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 7\/10 Little Stevie Kitsen has suffered the ignominy of having being labelled a male cat whilst all the while bring a female. Apparently this is because her gender was determined by the landlord of the local pub. This goes a long way to reaffirming the need for professionalism in the veterinary trade; we can&#8217;t just let charlatans carry out detailed examinations of cats. Besides this unfortunate start Stevie is a healthy and sprightly individual whose character oozes out of her. Not oozing like liquid, that would be a sign of an unhealthy cat. Home invasion &#8211; 9\/10 When Stevie\u2019s owner got a dog Stevie went to live in the pub. This is where she found her current owner; this level of self sufficiency [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":440,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[61],"class_list":["post-441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contenders","tag-stevie-kitsen"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Stevie_K.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-77","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":493,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions\/493"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}