{"id":436,"date":"2012-07-10T16:22:15","date_gmt":"2012-07-10T15:22:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=436"},"modified":"2013-12-01T10:52:17","modified_gmt":"2013-12-01T09:52:17","slug":"new-contender-spike","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=436","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Spike"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" alt=\"Spike\" src=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/spike_s.jpg\" \/>Name: Spike (Identity confirmed)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We just don&#8217;t know. No fascinating anecdotes or adventures mean that we have to be cautious.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Spike&#8217;s not much more than a kitten. They&#8217;re all healthy, except the sickly ones that pander to Darwin.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>As Spike was discovered in a park (in Balsall Heath no less) he does have a hint of the vagrant about him. This is a good thing, it means he can take care of himself.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Again we don&#8217;t know. He doesn&#8217;t look like \u00a0a noisy one but it is so hard to judge these days.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Now we&#8217;re talking. Spike has tried to eat a child by starting with their hair. We weren&#8217;t there but we do have an image of Spike dangling with a mouthful of hair. Obviously Spike will learn, over time, if you want to eat a child then start with their feet so they can&#8217;t run away. Spike has also got into a fight with a dog and punched a man in the face. We do know that the dog in question is a bit dim but it is a natural predator so fair play.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Is that cute? We don&#8217;t think so. Yes, we can see Spike can do the comic position but a kitten needs to go that little bit further.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Punched a man in the face. THAT&#8217;S THE OPPOSITE OF FRIENDLY.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Is dignity lying prostrate on your back doing an impression of rabbit? Not it isn&#8217;t.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Spike spends much of his day laying elaborate traps so he can jump out on people, children and dogs. This isn&#8217;t the natural instinct of the hunter but rather a carefully constructed homage to the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Pink_Panther#Cato_Fong\">films of the late Peter Sellers<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Having been born on quite literally, the wrong side of the tracks, Spike has found a loving new home which he has systematically abused and terrorised. Some would say this isn&#8217;t the most shrewd move but it is breathtakingly\u00a0bold.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 52%<\/p>\n<p>We can&#8217;t help feeling that Spike might have done better if we&#8217;d known more about him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Spike (Identity confirmed) Agility &#8211; 3\/10 We just don&#8217;t know. No fascinating anecdotes or adventures mean that we have to be cautious. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 5\/10 Spike&#8217;s not much more than a kitten. They&#8217;re all healthy, except the sickly ones that pander to Darwin. Home invasion &#8211; 7\/10 As Spike was discovered in a park (in Balsall Heath no less) he does have a hint of the vagrant about him. This is a good thing, it means he can take care of himself. Meow &#8211; 3\/10 Again we don&#8217;t know. He doesn&#8217;t look like \u00a0a noisy one but it is so hard to judge these days. Fighting Ability &#8211; 8\/10 Now we&#8217;re talking. Spike has tried to eat a child by starting with their hair. We weren&#8217;t there but we do have an image of Spike dangling with a mouthful of hair. Obviously Spike will learn, over time, if you want to eat a child then start with their feet so they can&#8217;t run away. Spike has also got into a fight with a dog and punched a man in the face. We do know that the dog in question is a bit dim but it is a natural predator so fair play. Overall cuteness &#8211; 4\/10 Is that cute? We don&#8217;t think so. Yes, we can see Spike can do the comic position but a kitten needs to go that little bit further. Friendliness &#8211; 3\/10 Punched a man in the face. THAT&#8217;S THE OPPOSITE OF FRIENDLY. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":434,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[60],"class_list":["post-436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contenders","tag-spike"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/spike_s.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-72","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=436"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":495,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436\/revisions\/495"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/434"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}