{"id":42,"date":"2008-08-12T15:13:39","date_gmt":"2008-08-12T15:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=42"},"modified":"2012-02-14T16:10:32","modified_gmt":"2012-02-14T16:10:32","slug":"new-contender-brown-cat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=42","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Brown Cat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/media\/cats\/brown_cat.jpg\" style=\"float: right\" \/>Name: Brown Cat (Identity not confirmed)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility -4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Brown Cat wanders about like he&#8217;s lost something. He seems fairly good at getting up and down fences but nothing really special.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Is being really really hairy a sign of being healthy? Probably not. He spends a lot of time sitting in the rain and that can&#8217;t be good for you if you&#8217;re that hairy. Having said that the extra weight he carries around in rain water is probably good for muscle development.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>All available evidence indicates that Brown Cat doesn&#8217;t even have a home of his own so he&#8217;s always on the lookout for a new place to have a kip. He is well known as a cat that tries to beg his way into a house with his pitiful meow.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>As stated above his meow is a bit pathetic but fair play to him he does have one and he uses it to good affect.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>There is little or no evidence of Brown Cat having any fighting ability whatsoever. He&#8217;s scared of <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?cat=5\">Edward<\/a> which means that in the social order of cats he is pretty well at the bottom. It both saddens and sickens us to see a cat that has sunk to this level.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Brown Cat is fairly cute. A bit brown but that in itself isn&#8217;t a reason to mark him down.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>There just isn&#8217;t much that Brown Cat isn&#8217;t scared of. He isn&#8217;t very friendly and you&#8217;ll usually see him legging it like a crazy man if anyone tries to say hello to him.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Brown Cat hasn&#8217;t got much in the way of dignity. Let&#8217;s face it we couldn&#8217;t even be arsed to make up a decent name for him so&#8230;&#8230;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Brown Cat isn&#8217;t very clever. He has as a bit of a vacant hungry look, much like a fat kid with a packet of Monster Munch.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>For a cat to be this nervous something pretty terrible must have happened to him at some point. We don&#8217;t know what it was but we can guess. We&#8217;ve given him some points for a ridiculously exciting life story that we&#8217;ve made up in our heads.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 49%<\/p>\n<p>We don&#8217;t know what it is about Brown Cat but we don&#8217;t really like him much. It&#8217;s not that he&#8217;s ever done anything really wrong he&#8217;s just irritating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Brown Cat (Identity not confirmed) Agility -4\/10 Brown Cat wanders about like he&#8217;s lost something. He seems fairly good at getting up and down fences but nothing really special. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 5\/10 Is being really really hairy a sign of being healthy? Probably not. He spends a lot of time sitting in the rain and that can&#8217;t be good for you if you&#8217;re that hairy. Having said that the extra weight he carries around in rain water is probably good for muscle development. Home invasion &#8211; 6\/10 All available evidence indicates that Brown Cat doesn&#8217;t even have a home of his own so he&#8217;s always on the lookout for a new place to have a kip. He is well known as a cat that tries to beg his way into a house with his pitiful meow. Meow &#8211; 7\/10 As stated above his meow is a bit pathetic but fair play to him he does have one and he uses it to good affect. Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10 There is little or no evidence of Brown Cat having any fighting ability whatsoever. He&#8217;s scared of Edward which means that in the social order of cats he is pretty well at the bottom. It both saddens and sickens us to see a cat that has sunk to this level. Overall cuteness &#8211; 7\/10 Brown Cat is fairly cute. A bit brown but that in itself isn&#8217;t a reason to mark him down. Friendliness &#8211; 3\/10 There just isn&#8217;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-42","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contenders","tag-brown-cat"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-G","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":372,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions\/372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=42"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}