{"id":34,"date":"2008-06-20T16:13:13","date_gmt":"2008-06-20T16:13:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=34"},"modified":"2012-02-14T16:11:20","modified_gmt":"2012-02-14T16:11:20","slug":"new-contender-mrs-miggins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=34","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Mrs Miggins"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/media\/cats\/miggins.jpg\" style=\"float: right\" \/>Name: Mrs Miggins (Identity confirmed)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility -8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Mrs Miggins can scale a six foot fence only requiring purchase at an approximate height of four feet. That means that in one bound she can jump over an 11 year old. That&#8217;s pretty good.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>She&#8217;s fat because she eats dog food. That probably means that her sense of smell isn&#8217;t working very well either.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>She gets her dog food from the dog next door. It&#8217;s a bit of a karmic experience this isn&#8217;t it? What loses you points in one section gets them back somewhere else.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Apparently Mrs Miggins &#8220;yowls&#8221;. Making words up is no substitute for a cat having a proper meow.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>In a break with tradition Mrs Miggins is going to be severely penalised for trying to kill a bat. We like bats and we don&#8217;t think cats should be killing them and that isn&#8217;t just because they sound a bit similar. It does raise the fascinating question of what the inside of a cats mouth would sound like to a bat. A question that we will only ever be able to ponder. Hmmm.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 9\/10\n<ul>\n<li>If this was just a mark for being fluffy then she would do well. As we consider the overall context of a given cats cuteness she has done very well.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>There is no doubting Mrs Miggins friendliness and she isn&#8217;t too picky.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Any cat that can lick bacon fat out of the dishwasher is likely to turn your stomache. If a cat were to do that you certainly wouldn&#8217;t think they were dignified.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Now we are not going to be pedantic about this but Mrs Miggins has a reputation for finding food in seemingly impossible places. We doubt this means she is that clever. It certainly means that someone has rather low expectations of impossible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Not really much to go on here. She gets half marks for not being a kitten anymore.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 60%<\/p>\n<p>A top end score for Mrs Miggins. She would no doubt have scored better if she had not created the obvious ethical dilema. If God doesn&#8217;t like the gays getting married then surely the very concept of cats getting married is pure abomination. Something to think about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Mrs Miggins (Identity confirmed) Agility -8\/10 Mrs Miggins can scale a six foot fence only requiring purchase at an approximate height of four feet. That means that in one bound she can jump over an 11 year old. That&#8217;s pretty good. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 5\/10 She&#8217;s fat because she eats dog food. That probably means that her sense of smell isn&#8217;t working very well either. Home invasion &#8211; 7\/10 She gets her dog food from the dog next door. It&#8217;s a bit of a karmic experience this isn&#8217;t it? What loses you points in one section gets them back somewhere else. Meow &#8211; 5\/10 Apparently Mrs Miggins &#8220;yowls&#8221;. Making words up is no substitute for a cat having a proper meow. Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10 In a break with tradition Mrs Miggins is going to be severely penalised for trying to kill a bat. We like bats and we don&#8217;t think cats should be killing them and that isn&#8217;t just because they sound a bit similar. It does raise the fascinating question of what the inside of a cats mouth would sound like to a bat. A question that we will only ever be able to ponder. Hmmm. Overall cuteness &#8211; 9\/10 If this was just a mark for being fluffy then she would do well. As we consider the overall context of a given cats cuteness she has done very well. Friendliness &#8211; 8\/10 There is no doubting Mrs Miggins friendliness and she isn&#8217;t too picky. Dignity [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-34","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contenders","tag-mrs-miggins"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-y","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":377,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions\/377"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}