{"id":26,"date":"2008-06-06T15:13:57","date_gmt":"2008-06-06T15:13:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=26"},"modified":"2012-02-14T16:11:50","modified_gmt":"2012-02-14T16:11:50","slug":"new-contender-graham","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=26","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Graham"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/media\/cats\/graham.jpg\" style=\"float: right\" \/>Name: Graham (Identity confirmed)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Graham has a particular interest in chasing bits of paper. This isn&#8217;t tricky. Bits of paper don&#8217;t move under their own steam and are relatively easy to chase down.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Graham certainly looks very healthy. We have been told that she likes hiding in plastic bags which could be the result of a deathwish or some sort of saucy autoerotic asphyxiation. We&#8217;re not sure if going for the latter is giving her the benefit of the doubt or not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 10\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Graham is the master of home invasion. She is known in Chantry Road for pissing on a Doctors cabbages. We assume this was probably\u00c2\u00a0a statement against the absurd class system that means some people have massive houses whilst others are condemned to live in&#8230;&#8230; er smaller houses. We&#8217;re sure that&#8217;s what she meant.\u00c2\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 3\/10\n<ul>\n<li>We can&#8217;t ever remember her meowing. We could be wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>As Graham lives with <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?page_id=22\">Simon<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0we think she probably isn&#8217;t very good at fighting other cats. Previously she has deposited a dead rat on her owners pillow and that gives her a better than middling score.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 7\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Graham is a very cute cat. Even if she is grey.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 5\/10\n<ul>\n<li>To be honest we&#8217;ve always found her a bit standoffish. We don&#8217;t know if she is dwarfed by Simon&#8217;s magnificence or just rude.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Graham is a thirsty cat. She likes to lick plant pots. Now we know you think this is probably because she isn&#8217;t given enough water but it isn&#8217;t. It&#8217;s a lack of dignity and she is marked down for it.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>She understands the concept of precipitation and seems to have a Ray Mears like ability to find water. Come the apocalypse we would like to have Graham about.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Graham lives with a dog. It&#8217;s a fairly stupid dog at that, we reckon she&#8217;s had a few brushes with trouble. Probably a slightly generous score but it&#8217;s not like the points cost anything.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 59%<\/p>\n<p>We like Graham she&#8217;s a fine cat. We think she deserves a few more points and we will look into her vocal abilities and report back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Graham (Identity confirmed) Agility &#8211; 5\/10 Graham has a particular interest in chasing bits of paper. This isn&#8217;t tricky. Bits of paper don&#8217;t move under their own steam and are relatively easy to chase down. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 7\/10 Graham certainly looks very healthy. We have been told that she likes hiding in plastic bags which could be the result of a deathwish or some sort of saucy autoerotic asphyxiation. We&#8217;re not sure if going for the latter is giving her the benefit of the doubt or not. Home invasion &#8211; 10\/10 Graham is the master of home invasion. She is known in Chantry Road for pissing on a Doctors cabbages. We assume this was probably\u00c2\u00a0a statement against the absurd class system that means some people have massive houses whilst others are condemned to live in&#8230;&#8230; er smaller houses. We&#8217;re sure that&#8217;s what she meant.\u00c2\u00a0 Meow &#8211; 3\/10 We can&#8217;t ever remember her meowing. We could be wrong. Fighting Ability &#8211; 6\/10 As Graham lives with Simon\u00c2\u00a0we think she probably isn&#8217;t very good at fighting other cats. Previously she has deposited a dead rat on her owners pillow and that gives her a better than middling score. Overall cuteness &#8211; 7\/10 Graham is a very cute cat. Even if she is grey. Friendliness &#8211; 5\/10 To be honest we&#8217;ve always found her a bit standoffish. We don&#8217;t know if she is dwarfed by Simon&#8217;s magnificence or just rude. Dignity &#8211; 4\/10 Graham is a thirsty cat. She likes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-26","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contenders","tag-graham"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-q","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":381,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions\/381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}