{"id":11,"date":"2008-05-30T12:37:32","date_gmt":"2008-05-30T12:37:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=11"},"modified":"2023-02-08T12:36:11","modified_gmt":"2023-02-08T11:36:11","slug":"new-contender-edward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?p=11","title":{"rendered":"New Contender: Edward"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" src=\"http:\/\/meowseley.co.uk\/Media\/Cats\/Edward.jpg\" alt=\"Edward\" \/>Name : Edward (Identity confirmed)<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Agility &#8211; 8\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Although Edward has clearly been seen to jump over a fence and even through a window some say he is carrying a bit of extra weight at the moment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 10\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Clearly a very healthy cat as indicated by his very shiny fur. Mad stary eyes could indicate some mental health issues but these cannot be confirmed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Home invasion &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Although Edward will wander around any garden he isn&#8217;t much of a visitor. At least as far as we know.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Meow &#8211; 2\/10\n<ul>\n<li>If our scoring system could accommodate no points then Edward would get them, but it can&#8217;t. Quite frankly his vocal ability is pathetic.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Edward is not really much of fighter. Some would say it is because he gets on so well with other cats. We know this isn&#8217;t true. He&#8217;s actually a bit gay. Not that we are saying that gay cats can&#8217;t fight. He is also obviously terrified of his nemesis <a href=\"http:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/?page_id=9\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bob<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Overall cuteness &#8211; 10\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Clearly he is cute. Anyone with eyes will tell you that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Friendliness &#8211; 10\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Can a cat be too friendly? Let&#8217;s assume not and give him all the points.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Dignity &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>Is dignity rolling around on your back asking passing strangers to tickle you? We&#8217;ve tried it and were treated with appropriate contempt. Edward has been duly marked down for his lack of etiquette.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Intelligence &#8211; 4\/10\n<ul>\n<li>This cat is stupid. He can be regularly found licking the pavement. There is no nutrition in concrete.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Remaining lives &#8211; 6\/10\n<ul>\n<li>As far as we know he has had no real brushes with death. Other than being abandoned once and having a bit of scrap with Bob. Neutral points.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Summary: 66%<\/p>\n<p>A surprisingly average score for a really good cat. Generally brought down by his complete lack of voice and not being very tasty in a scrap.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name : Edward (Identity confirmed) Agility &#8211; 8\/10 Although Edward has clearly been seen to jump over a fence and even through a window some say he is carrying a bit of extra weight at the moment. Health &amp; Vitality &#8211; 10\/10 Clearly a very healthy cat as indicated by his very shiny fur. Mad stary eyes could indicate some mental health issues but these cannot be confirmed. Home invasion &#8211; 6\/10 Although Edward will wander around any garden he isn&#8217;t much of a visitor. At least as far as we know. Meow &#8211; 2\/10 If our scoring system could accommodate no points then Edward would get them, but it can&#8217;t. Quite frankly his vocal ability is pathetic. Fighting Ability &#8211; 4\/10 Edward is not really much of fighter. Some would say it is because he gets on so well with other cats. We know this isn&#8217;t true. He&#8217;s actually a bit gay. Not that we are saying that gay cats can&#8217;t fight. He is also obviously terrified of his nemesis Bob. Overall cuteness &#8211; 10\/10 Clearly he is cute. Anyone with eyes will tell you that. Friendliness &#8211; 10\/10 Can a cat be too friendly? Let&#8217;s assume not and give him all the points. Dignity &#8211; 6\/10 Is dignity rolling around on your back asking passing strangers to tickle you? We&#8217;ve tried it and were treated with appropriate contempt. Edward has been duly marked down for his lack of etiquette. Intelligence &#8211; 4\/10 This cat is stupid. He can [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":588,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-11","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contenders","tag-edward"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Edward.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p48Cd2-b","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1520,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11\/revisions\/1520"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meowseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}