Meowseley

Name: Costello (Identity confirmed)

1. Agility -8/10
   • This score could have gone either way. On the one hand Costello has demonstrated fantastic agility in leaping on top of TV. On the other hand he did manage to knock it over and break it. We decided that although we don’t generally support cats breaking technology this is probably worthy of some points.
2. Health & Vitality – 4/10
   • Costello looks a bit small for his age. Not that we have got a clue how old he is but we think he’s probably a bit weak. We’ve been told that he also has 18 claws which gives him 4.5 on each foot. That can’t be healthy.
3. Home invasion – 7/10
   • We don’t know if Costello is much good at getting into other people’s homes but based on his recent behaviour in his own house we advise people to keep him out. We’ve given him a good score because he at least seems to have the invasion bit sorted out. We imagine that if he had a Myspace page he would enthusiastically invite all his little friends round whenever he could.  
4. Meow – 4/10
   • It is claimed that Costello meows. We’ve no way of knowing the quality of his meow.
5. Fighting Ability – 6/10
   • Costello chases spiders. We like that. It’s the sort of functional killing that you need from a cat. Killing birds is all very well but birds don’t really pose a threat to humans. Spiders are an instrument of terror and should be killed. Having a cat that does this would be very very useful.
6. Overall cuteness – 7/10
   • We think Costello is very vey cute. He’s a nice change from the plague of black cats with white bits on that seem to be everywhere these days. Being tiny is an endearing quality and adds to his overall cuteness.
7. Friendliness – 5/10
   • It is tricky to give an accurate score for Costello’s friendliness. He certainly looks friendly but as we know he did smash a telly so this is possibly an illusion.
8. Dignity – 2/10
   • You can clearly see from the picture that Costello has a My Little Pony collection. We don’t think we really need to waste anymore words on this section.
9. Intelligence – 3/10
   • The underlying principles of basic contents insurance are not too difficult to grasp. Costello appears to be oblivious to the consequences of his actions and the detrimental affect he has had on his owners no claims bonus.
10. Remaining lives – 6/10
    • Clearly he is quite a lucky cat so we’ve rewarded him for still being alive.

Summary: 52%

Costello is a good all rounder demonstrating both cuteness and dexterity. We’d like to see him doing a bit more work on being generally bigger but that’s something to aspire to. His size and unspecified meowing have left him distinctly mid-table but as there doesn’t seem to be anything fundamentally wrong with him we could see a marked improvement in the future.